Ostensibly we went to Ikea because I thought they might have baskets that I could use to display my soap in on Sunday.In reality we leapt at this flimsy excuse because we were bored, and Oliver could do with some entertainment and there would be plenty of warm indoor space for him to run around in. Hmm, should have thought that through a bit more.
All went fairly well until we hit the children's section. Oliver was delighted to recognise his table and chairs and owl and a few other previous purchases. He loved the pop up circus tent that Rosie decided to buy him for his birthday and was happy trotting round examining everything. At some point happy turned to giddy and seizing the above snake he started ricocheting round the department and also round the restaurant pausing only to take in the excellent children's area there, which allowed me to catch him (and also my breath). I returned him to the children's section and all seemed back to normal. Foolishly though, none of us had thought to keep a firm grip on him and he was off again, still with snake in tow. This time, he found a short cut to the rest of the store and shot off out of sight. Instantly, I started worrying about paedophile abductions, imagining myself in the paper saying 'He was only out of my sight for a minute'. In retrospect this was needless, any paedophile would have to catch him first and Oliver is fast. I would catch the occasional glimpse of him, running out from behind a sofa, on his way to a room display or hurtling round the wardrobes, all the time trailing the snake. I have known many men who want to speed through Ikea, unseduced by the fantasy of what life could be like if only you had the right storage, and to them Oliver would be the ultimate hero.
Eventually, I saw him run into what I hoped was a cleaning cupboard, near the restaurant. No such luck, it turned out to be the men's toilets. Ellie had joined me by then, and the two of us stared at the door, left open by about 6 inches, and wondered what to do next. Neither of us wanted to go in, especially as I had seen a man enter earlier. I wondered about approaching a sales assistant or if there was a passing father around (preferably one who looked as if he played rugby). Meanwhile Oliver kept appearing in the doorway and smiling happily at us, snake still trailing round his feet. We tried enticing him out 'Oliver, come and see Mummy now' and we tried commanding him out 'Oliver come out NOW!' but he was too excited to pay us any attention. Finally he decided to come out and was duly nabbed and imprisoned in the first shopping trolley we came across. He protested loudly at this loss of liberty for the rest of the visit.
So after his whistle stop tour of Ikea which mainly took place at floor level, it seemed wrong to return Snake to the display shelves and consequently he will be Oliver's birthday present from me. Suggestions gratefully received for an appropriate name, I'm thinking Speedy at the moment.
Perhaps something with Swedish and Snakish connotations. Asptil? Sven Viperson?
ReplyDelete